i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
