I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
