I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
