I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
