O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
you never un-have a 4some
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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