he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
