i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
