Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They took my balls.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
