Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
