dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
