I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
