So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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