Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
