I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize