That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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