so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize