You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
