im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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