I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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