If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize