dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just want to make out with him forever
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
