Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
