so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize