party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
