I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
