i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize