nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My dad is sitting where you rode me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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