i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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