ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
