Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
