you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Come on in and take your pants off
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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