ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize