i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
