At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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