Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
