my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
