I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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