Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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