I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
