he thought i was a dude.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
