halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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