it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize