College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
