Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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