i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
