It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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