someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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