that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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