she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
