..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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