he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
