We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
