Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
