walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
