Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just want to make out with him forever
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
