why didn't you poke me back
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
