Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i dont even know how to be here
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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