she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
