does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
