I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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