; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize