There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
