he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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