May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
